Dream, Dream, Dream

I had the strangest dream the other night; probably because I was in a lot of pain.  I always have vivid dreams when I have migraines.  They aren’t necessarily medication induced either, because I have them whether I take medicine or not.  One dream was pretty vivid and I am sure there is some symbolism in it, so I will share.

I was on an adventure with my mom.  I’m not really sure where we were headed— maybe the beach.  Anyway, we were in the car and she was driving like a bat out of hell, which isn’t her style.  LOL.  She drives like a Grandma in real life.  It was a nice day and we had the windows down and I was wearing a midriff tee (also not my style) and she had to swerve for some reason, she veered to the left, which made us take the left fork in the road and ultimately, put us on a different path.  She was wondering if it would still get us to where we wanted to go.

I was yelling at my mom for driving like a crazy person when this wasp came in through the window and started stinging the shit out of me!  It kept stinging me all over my exposed stomach.  BAM, BAM, BAM!  I’m screaming and trying not to aggravate the thing anymore than necessary, but when it kept stinging, I take to smacking at the thing in an attempt to kill the bastard.  Finally, I grab-a-hold of it and it starts stinging my thumb.  I throw it out the window and roll it up in order to keep it outside.  Wasp be gone! Sayonara mutha!

I look down, and my stomach has like 8-10 angry red welts all over it.  😦  Ain’t nobody gonna be looking at this tummy now.  LOL.  I think it’s the same dream, but next thing I know we are parked at some sketchy lot and I’ve been there before, but my mom hasn’t.  I’m a little weary of the abandoned buildings and the biker-type people lurking around, but my mom is completely fine talking to them (stop it mom!).  The whole point of us being there is because I want to take her to this square.  Instead of walking though, we are going to fly.

I grab ahold of her and lazily float up into the air like a hot air balloon.  We begin to float past the grungy buildings.  I’m appalled looking down that this was our destination.  Ick.  I know that where I wanted to take her is coming up though and I point to it.  It’s actually… pretty.  There is a square with an exquisite garden full of flowers and a bubbling fountain, and there’s a tower… all sorts of stuff.  Our destination is the tower (maybe because I can’t float down). As we head towards it, I just take in the beauty; this hidden gem amongst this grungy city.

Then I wake up… and reality hits.  Pain washes over me and I wish I could go back to sleep and escape reality once more, but I can’t.  I have to drag myself out of bed and get ready for work.  I have escaped the horrendous reality that was my last job, but along with it, I ran away from the fantastic healthcare and sick leave.  Now I have an okay job, but I have to deal with the reality of having no sick leave and what must be the shittiest healthcare plan there is.  ::sigh::  In the meantime, I deal with the chronic pain the best way I know how— pure resolve, medication and knowing that when I get home, I will be able to dream, dream, dream… once more.

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Check out these related blogs 
*  Chronic Pain: Lessons Learned
*  Returning to the Mat: A Lesson in Ahimsa