Judgement Day

It’s been a while since I’ve been judged.  I don’t know what it is about politics, but it never seems to bring out the best in people.  I was having a civil conversation with someone about popular vote v. electoral vote when another person decided to call me out on a simple error I had written (all of this happened on Facebook)

  • Note: He could have just mentioned that I was incorrect in my mention of CA being a swing state, because it totally is, but instead he posted something along the lines of:
    • “LOL at you posting CA as a swing state, it’s been a blue state for the past 25 years!” and then proceeded to call me a hippie and then something along the lines of “if all the California liberals left, than those votes could be used for good.”  and then closed his statement with “and no, I’m not a Taurus.”
    • I fail to see how any of the above sarcasm or snark is beneficial to anyone…

Of course, being a good yogi, I took the bait and responded.  :/  I started off admitting my error and then went on to how I didn’t appreciate him making assumptions about me.  I’m fairly certain my response of “You are correct about CA, that was an error on my part. I’m capable of admitting my mistakes; however, I don’t appreciate you making assumptions of me when you know NOTHING about me. I don’t live in California, I am nowhere near a “hippie” and I’m actually fairly conservative. Take your presumptions somewhere else, please.” could have been written with a little more love and kindness.

He shot back with something along the lines of “AWESOME! Glad to see you’re reading.”  At that point, I decided it was best to disengage.  There was nothing to gain from this, though what I really wanted to do was type back was “Fuck off.”  Instead, I went to his Facebook page and blocked him.  Now, I can’t see anything he has written, so that is why I cannot put verbatim our conversation.  I thought about unblocking it to get it, and then re-blocking it, but I have decided it is in my best interest to stay away.  Could he be writing more things about me and I wouldn’t know it; absolutely.  Would it do me any good to know about it— nope.

As I sit here, I do the real homework.  Why did that interaction piss me off so much?  It wasn’t that I got called out on being wrong.  Admitting my mistake wasn’t difficult.  Was it the fact that I was called a hippie?  I don’t think so; I’ve been called much worse.  So, if it wasn’t any of these things, then what was it?

I think what it may boil down to is that I felt like I was back in middle school all over again.  I was the kid being judged for things that weren’t true.  I ran away from that for YEARS.  I even changed school districts when high school came around, to escape from all the teasing, bullying and drama.  The thing is, so what if the things he said were true? What if I was a hippie from California?  Big deal!!!  That wouldn’t make me a bad person.

So, I’m already feeling threatened, having a hard time choking down the food plopped on my plate, and he insults my knowledge by throwing in my face that I’m more or less finally “reading”.  GAH!  Again, another topic of my life I struggled with and ran away from.  I ran away to college and eventually ran all the way across the country to escape it.  Despite being an honors student in high school, I had to hear that I wasn’t smart, that I wouldn’t go to college.  Essentially, I felt like I wouldn’t really amount to… well, anything.  That left permanent scars on my heart and I don’ t know if I’ll ever truly get past feeling inept.  Being wrong is one thing, being made to feel inept is another.

So there it is… that is why this person pissed me off.  He reminded me of my school days, where I was made fun of, and he made me feel inept, all in a matter of minutes.  ::sigh::  It’s okay though, because even though he hurt me in a matter of minutes, he was also out of my life just as fast.  He is blocked and I won’t be seeing anything from him ever again.  I’m determined to remove as many obstacles and as much negativity from my life as possible.  The power is back in my court.  I call that a win.  🙂

Ain’t nothin’ gonna break-a my stride
Nobody gonna slow me down, oh no
I got to keep on movin’

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